. . loneliness . .

It pains me to see BYJ crying in this scene. As much as I know he is very professional in his work, but I had a feeling that not only is he crying out for the movie, he is also crying out for himself.

I have no idea why, but I just can't help feeling that our dear Joonie is actually pretty miserable and lonely inside him despite all the stardom he had as an international star. It always makes me wonder, behind the curtains of glam, what is our BYJ's real self? Being praised as a smiling BYJ to almost everyone that he met, is he really happy inside him besides wanting to express his sincerity towards everyone who loves him?

Lots of questions lingered in my head actually.. After a hard day of work, who actually stayed up for him even till the wee hours in the morning to welcome him home? Who actually did gave him a pat on his shoulders to tell him that he has done a good job on his acting besides the fans and colleagues? Who actually gave him the shoulder to cry on whenever he needs some tender loving care of concern and comfort? Does he really go back to his home where his comfortable bed is there for him to rest or does he stayed on at different shooting locations since his scheduled is so tight with everyday planned for him? I couldn't help but felt the loneliness in him revealed in his eyes on some photos taken candidly by photographers and I feel so sad for him and wanting to hug him soooooo much. As a BYJ fan, you should understand how I feel.

Maybe he is really really quiet about his private life, but sometimes, I really hope he reveal some of his private details to us fans just so we can rest our mind that our BYJ is very well-taken care of both at his work and his private life. As much his fans wanted to see more of his works and are patiently waiting month by month to see what new stuffs he has to wow his fans, if one day he decided that he wants to go on a year's break just to have a breathe of fresh air and many good nights sleep with morning waking up without the sound of the alarm, I'm very sure his fans of his will understand and respect his decision.

I sincerely hope he find his other half real soon. Someone whom he will look forward to everyday after he finish working. Someone who can hug him well and make him feel 'hae bo kei' (fortunate in korean, but dunno the spelling.. hehe!). He has already given so much love to the world, its time he get some love back.. *nod nod*